The Ghosts That Haunt Me
by Lauren Hobbes
Summary: When the shard-hunters lose their strongest member, Kagome, desperate to finish the job that first brought her to the past, finds herself outsourcing the role of her protector. Luckily, good help can be found for cheap... Sesshomaru x Kagome
1. Chapter 1

**The Ghosts That Haunt Me**

**Chapter One**

_"When my coffin is sealed and I'm safely six feet under,  
Perhaps my friends will see fit then to judge me.  
Oh, when they pause to consider all my blunders,  
I hope they won't be too quick to begrudge me . . ."_

_At My Funeral_, Crash Test Dummies

* * *

Kagome's foot was going numb. 

She shifted a little, attempting to ease the tension out of it, while wincing at the chill that the morning dew presented to her bare legs. Sango, sitting to her left, shot her a questioning look. Kagome offered a weak smile and shook her head, directing her attention back to Miroku, who was kneeling before them on the ground, his back to them. Sango followed suit.

"Oh, great Kanzeon," the monk pronounced solemnly, "Guard the soul of our companion, Inuyasha, as it rests in your comforting hands. He was a stalwart ally and a good friend. May he find peace and joy in the next life, and all lives thereafter."

Kagome felt something that resembled a sob crawling up her throat, and though she gritted her teeth, a squeak popped out. The grief was just too fresh to control. Kaede, sitting to her right, laid a wrinkled hand on her arm in comfort, and Kagome attempted to swallow her tears. Miroku paused, waiting for any more noise to emerge from the spectators behind him. Hearing none, he continued.

"Inuyasha, in honour of your great life, we present you with food for your hungry spirit. We hope that it pleases you."

Hearing his cue, Shippo staggered up, carrying a monstrous tupperware container full of steaming ramen. It was the largest her mother had to give her, and Kagome couldn't help but give a wry smile at the sight of the kitsune carrying a tub as large as he was. With an audible thump, it was deposited at the base of the God Tree, and Shippo scampered back to his position beside Kirara. Miroku threw him a smile.

"Inuyasha, we assume that you have consumed the spiritual essence of this humble offering. If you wish for us to finish off the physical remains, give us absolutely no sign." There was long pause. The morning sun beat down, filtered softly through the green leaves of the trees above. Distantly, a bird chirped. "Thank you, Inuyasha. We will follow your wishes."

In spite of the circumstances, Kagome felt a snicker escape her. Beside her, Sango nonchalantly raised a fist, and clouted Miroku in the back of the head.

With that, the small ceremony was over. The companions rose out of their kneeling positions, stretching, and preparing to eat. Just as Kagome rifled through her knapsack for chopsticks, a strong aura made itself known to her senses. "Sesshomaru..." she said softly, as the others looked up in unison. There was barely time to tense, as in less than a minute he had broken through the treeline. Without ever having the appearance of hurrying, he materialized in front of Kagome. Inuyasha's misanthropic older brother. The last son of the great Inutaisho. The Killing Perfection. Sesshomaru. His clear amber eyes met hers, and Kagome shivered.

"Where is the half-breed?" he asked quietly.

Kagome's eyes widened. _He didn't know? _She stared at cold youkai in mortified silence, chewing her lip, and trying to recall the last time their group had seen him. It had to have been at least six months, she realized, and clearly Sesshomaru wasn't on the receiving end of the local grapevine. She let her gaze drift down to the ground, and tried to think of what to say.

"I...He..." she stammered. Sesshomaru remained stonily silent, making it clear that he was going to wait until she had provided him with answers. She heaved a shaky sigh, and plunged in. "He...a month ago. He died a month ago." For a moment, she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back tears. "Naraku used the shards to manipulate a group of forest demons. We were fighting them when Naraku attacked us from behind." She stopped, wondering if Sesshomaru would request further details. She couldn't continue. She wouldn't. He could stand there all day, for all she cared. She opened her eyes, and attempted to peer through blurry tears, unsure of what to expect. What she saw was surprising.

The taiyoukai in front of her seemed frozen, standing statue-still, while a soft breeze grasped a few strands of his long ivory hair and tossed them about. As her eyes dried, Kagome was shocked to see a look that could only be described as bewilderment painted upon his pale face. Almost as though he had forgotten her, Sesshoumaru slowly tilted his head to the side, and his brows furrowed, forming a gentle crease between his eyebrows. Then, sharply, he turned his head to the left, and then the right, his nostrils flaring gracefully.

_'He's looking for Inuyasha's scent,' _she realized, watching him inhale deeply. _ 'He doesn't believe me.' _Sesshomaru's eyes fell to the God Tree, at the bamboo arrow which had been plunged into the gnarled bark of the trunk, and the ever-present wooden rosary beads which hung from it. At the ground below, the green sod still maintained the look of being slightly unsettled, having not yet totally taken root again.

Kagome suddenly stiffened, remembering. _'Tessaiga...does he know we buried it? Will he...?' _She threw Miroku, who had not yet moved, a fearful look.

The youkai lord, however, was unpredictable, as always. Sharply, Sesshomaru turned away from the group and the grave and, without saying a word, walked determinedly away, a vision of ghostly white disappearing amongst the trees.

* * *

His half-brother was dead. 

The treaty he was reading wrinkled under his hand, but Sesshomaru ignored it. The words kept echoing in his mind. His half-brother was dead. His half-brother was dead, and he, Sesshomaru, hadn't even been the one to kill him.

No matter. There were treaties to be read. He looked down at the crackling scroll, and forced his eyes to follow the neat script. It didn't matter that the hanyou was dead, because there had been problems with sheep poaching on the eastern border, and local magistrates...

Magistrates.

God damned magistrates.

Oh, how he hated magistrates!

Loath though he might be to admit it, Sesshomaru knew he was not yet an adult. At his age, most youkai were still nomadic, wandering about, acquiring both land and skills. Thanks to his father's early expiration, Sesshomaru had inherited not only all of the Western Lands, but also the responsibilities and duties that came with ruling them. Which meant countless hours of meeting with delegates, doing paperwork, and forever listening to the complaints of those wheezing, whining magistrates!

He hoped that some horrible misfortune would befall them all.

In a sense, his relationship with Inuyasha had been necessary to maintain his sanity. Oh, his desire for Tessaiga had been genuine, there was no denying that. His father's illegitimate half-breed son ignorantly running around with the most glorious of the deceased lord's physical possessions was an injustice that caused Sesshomaru to seethe just thinking about it. Still, the vendetta admittedly carried some side benefits... When the horrors of official duty plagued him, the young lord could always count upon his hunt for Tessaiga as the perfect excuse to escape. Deliberately kicking his papers off his desk and onto the floor, he would rise, assemble his belongings -- Jaken and Rin -- and head out for the open road. The exercise was good for Rin, and it was always wise to get Jaken outside once in awhile, lest he grow domesticated. They would travel until Rin began to request bathroom breaks, at which point he would take his leave of them, and would go threaten Inuyasha. A bit of sparring, some taunting, and he'd be stress-free! After his sibling spat, he'd head back to uncover whatever shenanigans Rin and Jaken had gotten themselves into. By the time they had been located and rescued, he'd wasted a good three or four days without having to look a single magistrate in the face!

But those days were behind him now. His brother had been foolish enough to get himself killed, and Sesshomaru was so annoyed with this turn of events that he couldn't even find reason to avenge his death. He idly doodled a picture of himself standing triumphantly over an unconscious Inuyasha. This seemed a little too close to the truth, and he inadvertently winced. Abandoning his drawing, he began to scratch through the varnish of his desk with a hardened nail, carving into the solid wood beneath it. How had Inuyasha gotten himself killed? The hapless moron had actually been improving as of late, and it seemed so unlikely that Naraku had managed to get the better of him. Inuyasha had finally bested him, the young lord realized. Death, of course, was only a sign of failure, but at least Inuyasha had the honour of being extinguished in a glorious battle, while he himself was stuck with incessant meetings for the rest of the week.

_'I am the only member of my family left...' _The words echoed hollowly within him, even as he distantly wondered where such a thought had come from, considering he had always been (violently) reluctant to acknowledge Inuyasha's relation to him. His face darkened into a frown as he began to carve a miniature_ gomoku _board into his desk. A thin sliver of wood curled around a sharp claw.

"Sir...?"

He glanced up, quickly moving the treaty to cover the vandalization of his own property. Oh goody. Magistrate. "Yes?" he said, in what he knew was a blasé tone.

The magistrate didn't seem to notice. "Well sir, I've been investigating those mysterious sheep poachings that were reported to you some time ago. The residents of Hitsuji district suspect it's the actions of ruffians from one of the neighboring districts. Now, I've spoken with several living in the Urufu district, and they say they know nothing about it. However, the nephew of the third village's headman says he saw..."

Sesshomaru allowed his eyes to drift towards the window, gazing out at the verdant forest that seemed to offer a peaceful, beckoning solitude.

Suddenly, he felt very, very alone.

* * *

**Notes:** My apologies for the shortness of this chapter, but this is a prologue of sorts, and also a test-run to see if I'll continue with this fic. It's been a long time since I've written one, so I'm kind of questioning my writing abilities at the moment, especially in light of how many better authors there are out there. 

Also, although I despise review-mongering by authors, by all means, drop me a line. It doesn't have to be anything special -- I'm not asking for lengthy feedback. Just let me know that you prefer a universe where another chapter of this fic exists. It can be a letter, for all I care. "A." The letter "a" will be our secret, very short code for, "This fic does not displease me. Feel free to continue."

The ceremony honouring Inuyasha's death was a hodge-podge of my knowledge of Chinese and Japanese religious and funeral ceremonies, so I'm sorry to say it's far from accurate. However, in Japan, funerals are strictly Buddhist fair (rather than Shinto), so it _is_ correct that Miroku would be covering that.

Kanzeon, better know as Guanyin, or Kannon, is a bodhisattva characterized by his/her compassion and role as a saviour for those in need of help.

_Gomoku_, or _go_, is a Japanese game similar to tic-tac-toe.


	2. Chapter 2

_Another day breaks and the last one's gone,  
You dig deep just to carry on,  
Your debt's paid off, but it don't feel gone,  
So you slip out the back and you're moving on . . ."_

_Bridge to Nowhere_, Sam Roberts

* * *

Things had been quiet, at first, after Inuyasha's death. Any sane enemy would have taken advantage of the fact that the hunters of the Shikon no Tama were without their strongest member, and would have finished them off with one fell swoop. To his credit, Naraku hadn't exactly been gifted with spades of good sense. To him, the war for the Jewel of Four Souls was apparently as much a game of strategy as a bid for power. After killing Inuyasha, Naraku seemed to have considered his turn to be over, and rather than striking the shard hunters down while they were in a state of loss and grief, he waited. Kagome supposed that this was extraordinarily thoughtful of him, considering he had murdered their friend. 

Unfortunately, the sabbatical appeared to have ended, as that afternoon a terrified man had come tearing into the village, hysterically babbling about a wave of demons heading in from the west. There had been a brief moment of horrified panic when they received the news. The decision as to what they were going to do about the Shikon no Tama had not been made yet, but it was clear that Naraku was pressing them for a response, regardless.

Kagome felt her stomach flip-flop. "We have to fight them," she said frantically, her eyes flicking between Sango and Miroku.

"Of course we do," said Sango firmly. She stood, heaving her oversized boomerang onto her back. "We're not going to let Naraku hurt the people of this town." As if to punctuate Sango's sentence, Kirara transformed in a blaze of flames.

Miroku, sensing her fear, offered an easy-going smile. "Don't worry, Kagome -- we can do this. We'll just have to try harder than usual."

Kagome felt his words settle her, although worry still creased her forehead. How could they be so brave? "You think so?"

"I know so," the monk replied smoothly. He appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Of course, a kiss for good luck wouldn't be amiss," he said, holding out his cheek slyly.

Sango sighed in exasperation and, grabbing the monk's arm, shook him roughly. "Moron! I'd hit you right now, but I don't want you going into battle damaged!" she snarled.

"You don't want me damaged?" Miroku said, a hopeful tone creeping into his voice.

Sango leveled him with a cool look. "Don't be mistaken, monk. When this is over, I am going to quarter you. Now, get on!" She shoved him towards Kirara, and he climbed onto the fire cat's back, Sango and Kagome squeezing on behind him. Shippo settled into Kagome's lap. With a low growl, Kirara took to the air, and Kagome held the kistune tightly.

She was terrified, she realized. Jumping into any battle was done with a tingling of nerves and a surge of adrenalin. There was a big difference, however, between protectively clutching a small fox youkai, and fiercely clinging to Inuyasha's broad back, choking on his cloud of white hair. His brash attitude had kept so many of her fears at bay; it didn't seem like they could ever lose, because Inuyasha didn't seem to think that _he_ could ever lose.

_'He had, though,'_ a voice in her head pointed out coldly, and Kagome cringed at her own callousness. She felt a tightness in her chest, and she wasn't sure if the cause was fear or grief. Likely a combination of both. Taking a deep breath, she tried to slow the hammering of her heart, which reverberated in her ears. Focusing on the others, she saw that the wave of demons were in clear view, and her friends were desperately trying to find a clearing -- anything that would give them the upper hand in the inevitable battle. Flying close to the canopy of trees below them, Kirara suddenly dove, sharply aiming for an open area that had manifested itself on the ground below. Kagome scrutinized it carefully. It seemed to be devoid of trees because of the large rocks that dotted the ground, eventually joining to form a low cliff. It was ideal, she reflected. The open area gave them room to fight, while they could keep their backs to the cliff without fearing an attack from behind. Of course, if Naraku's intentions were to destroy the village they had just left behind, his band of demons could just fly right over their heads and raze it. He didn't care about the village, though. His battle was with them, with her, for the fragile jar of Shikon shards that still hung around her neck.

As the demon-mob emerged over the crest of the trees, Kagome's eyes widened. There were so many of them, so many that wouldn't be felled with a single attack from Tessaiga. _ 'Oh, Inuyasha!' _she thought desperately. _'We need your help!' _She glanced down at Shippo, who stood determinedly at her side, and regretted bringing him. Why hadn't she left him with Kaede? He could barely defend himself, and she was going to get him killed.

Then the time for regrets was over, and her thoughts vanished as the battle began.

It was all a blur. There was no Inuyasha, this time, to shout loud threats and then tear away half the field with a Wind Scar. It was just her, Sango, and Miroku -- three humans, doing their best. Miroku uncovered his kazaana, absorbing as many of the demons on the battlefield as possible before the saimyoushou made their appearance. When they finally did, he whipped the prayer beads back over his hand, and began bashing every demon in a metre radius with his ringed staff. Sango sent Hiraikotsu tearing through the flocks, and while waiting for its return, used her _wakizashi_ to take care of the demons within close range. Shippo, perched on the taijiya's shoulder, sent splatters of fox fire down on the demons as a means of distraction. Kagome fired arrow after arrow, forcing a blistering path through the mob that surrounded them, while a snarling Kirara protected her from any immediate danger.

There was no thinking. Kagome barely acknowledged the many close calls that were flying her way -- there was only time to nock an arrow, draw back, fire, and then grab another arrow and repeat the process. It was mechanical; she didn't stop to observe her success. It was only when her fingers reached for another arrow and grasped at nothing did she pause to look around.

They had all been separated, she noticed, forced away from one another by the youkai onslaught. Kirara had left her at some point, it seemed, to join Shippo in standing over Sango, who was laying prostrate on the ground, the effects of some unidentified wound. Miroku had been backed up against the rock face, but was holding his own, swinging his staff in a deadly arc and occasionally reopening the kazaana to suck in a few demons, closing it up when the saimyoushou dropped down to investigate. And she, Kagome, was in terrible trouble, judging from the look on the face of the demon that was stalking towards her.

It was a nondescript demon; it didn't particularly resemble anything other than, well, a_ demon_, but the lack of notable attributes didn't seem to limit the demon's capacity to tear her to pieces. Kagome, backing up slowly, glanced around desperately for help, but to no avail. The others were too busy defending their own lives. Licking her lips nervously, she swallowed. "In--Inuyasha..." she whispered helplessly, but it was clear that her saviour wasn't going to show up this time. The demon's pace increased, narrowing the space between them.

Terror shot through her, and as the demon leaped, Kagome found that the bow she was holding had begun to glow a bright pink. It struck the demon in the neck, the purifying energy leaving a deep burn. As it rolled away with a hiss, Kagome jumped into action, walloping the demon on the top of the head with her bow, and it dissolved into a pile of greasy ashes.

Kagome stared in awe at her new-found weapon. Her bow may not have that much reach, but apparently it could channel her holy powers, and she wasn't about to question anything that had just saved her life. She began swinging with all the skills acquired from baseball practice in school, trying to make her way to the unconscious Sango. This was easier said than done, as very few of the youkai she encountered were quite as easy to hit as a baseball. The only exception were the saimyoushou, who, when smacked, would go flying across the clearing with a surprised buzz, stopping only when they hit a tree and exploded. Kagome found the process both satisfying and horrific. Luck seemed to be with her, though, as many of the demons were intimidated by the obvious showing the her miko powers -- in their clamour to avoid her, Kagome took down more than ever.

Finally, there was a clear path to Sango. Darting forward, she ran up to the tiring Kirara, who acknowledged her with a low rumble. Huddled alongside Sango was Shippo, who was quaking with fear.

"Shippo!" she cried with relief.

"Kagome!" The little fox youkai gave a teary smile, and jumped up to fly into her outstretched arms.

Out of nowhere, a tentacle rushed between them, slapping Shippo out of the air and sending him flying into a nearby rock. The kit dropped to the ground and lay still. Frozen, her arms still outstretched, Kagome watched in terror as the tentacle retreated beneath a white baboon pelt.

"Kagome," said Naraku pleasantly.

Kagome, staring at the disturbed hanyou, felt paralyzed. If Inuyasha had been there, the air would have been filled with expletives. Inuyasha would have said anything and everything, questioning Naraku's parentage, his sexual preferences, and his fashion sense. Inuyasha would have fired off two Wind Scars and a Bakuryuha by now. Inuyasha would have done something.

She was not Inuyasha. She was Kagome, and she couldn't do anything. Nothing but swallow the lump that was growing in her throat.

"My apologies for harming your little friend," said Naraku calmly, as though he were discussing the weather, "But I want you to understand how serious I am about getting the shards that you possess. I'm hoping to make a business deal with you, if you're willing." He raised his eyebrows, and gave a smooth smile. "To be frank, if you give me the shards you have at the moment, then I won't kill the kitsune." He paused for effect.

Kagome said nothing.

"If you refuse," Naraku continued, "then I _will_ kill the kitsune. And if you refuse after that, then I will kill the taijiya. After that, I will kill the monk, and the fire cat."

Kagome remained silent.

Naraku seemed unsure as to how to interpret her muteness. "I hope that you don't think I'm bluffing. Considering what I did to Inuyasha, you should be more than aware of what I'm capable of."

What he did to Inuyasha...The words echoed within her, gaining force. Kagome felt anger overwhelm her fear, growing into a red heat that made her shake with fury.

"You killed Inuyasha..." she choked out, in a strangled whisper. Inuyasha was dead, and it was all thanks to this smug bastard standing before her, who had the gall to threaten her other friends. _"You killed him!"_

She felt her hands growing hot. A roar filled her ears, and then, nothing.

* * *

She could feel the sun on her face. Without opening her eyes, she wrinkled her nose, and rolled a few inches to the right. 

No luck. The sun was still upon her, and it was making her far too warm. The blanket on her felt heavy, and even the air was stuffy and difficult to breath.

With great effort, she forced her eyes open. She was in Kaede's hut, lying on the floor, with her sleeping bag tossed over her. Rolling onto her side, she silently watched Kaede, who was on the other side of the room, busying herself with something in a clay pot. She remained like this until Shippo ran through the open door of the hut. At the sight of her, a large smile broke across his face.

"Kagome!" He bounded across the room to her side, and Kaede turned at his words.

"Ah, Kagome, you are awake," said the aged miko, sounding relieved.

"Hello, Shippo," said Kagome, sitting up and smiling warmly at the kit. "Good morning, Kaede. Of course I'm awake. Did I sleep in?"

The old woman gave Kagome a sharp look, her hands still kneading whatever was in the pot. "You do not remember the battle yesterday?"

The battle. She had forgotten about the battle. What had happened? Yesterday's events came back to her in clear focus. "...I remember talking to Naraku," to teenager said slowly, "But after that...I'm not sure." She had been talking to Naraku, and he was threatening her, and...

Kaede raised an eyebrow. "I have only the information Miroku gave to me; he's out fetching herbs for me, at the moment. He said that Naraku had confronted you while the others were in a bad way, and-"

"Sango!" yelped Kagome. "Is she alright?!" Her eyes widened, and the fear, the terror, came back, shocking her as though the floor had been electrified.

"Kagome," said Shippo, tugging at her sleeve with tiny hands. "Turn around."

Still crouched beneath her sleeping blanket, Kagome twisted the upper half of her body. Lying on the floor behind her was Sango, sleeping peacefully, out of the way of the sunlight that entered through the window.

"Is she alright...?" whispered Kagome.

"She's fine," reassured Kaede. "During the fight, she was slashed in the side, and she fell unconscious. She was awake earlier this morning, but agreed that it was best that she take a nap, to get her strength back."

"This morning," Kagome murmured, watching the sunlight reflect off of the nylon fibers of her sleeping bag. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Your fight was yesterday afternoon," replied Kaede, her hands never failing to cease their work. "You've been asleep since then."

"And you're all right too, Shippo?" asked Kagome, remember how he had been tossed through the air.

"Of course!" exclaimed Shippo, sounding mildly offended. "Demons are tougher than that!" His chest puffed out with pride. A miniature Inuyasha, if she ever saw one. Soon he'd be sleeping in trees and throwing swears around like a sailor on shore leave.

"He was up and bouncing about not long after Miroku brought him here," said Kaede, giving a wry smile. "He's likely fully healed by now."

Kagome nodded absentmindedly, hugging the little kit who was not Inuyasha, not yet. "I'm sorry I interrupted, Kaede. You were going to tell me what happened yesterday?"

Kaede looked solemn. "Well, Miroku said that he said Naraku speaking with you, and after that...well, he is unsure what happened." She ceased in telling her story for a moment, and, frowning down at the pot in her hands, fished out a green leaf that apparently had no business being there, judging from the manner in which she tossed it away.

"I don't understand," said Kagome, twirling her fingers in Shippo's hair, much to his protestations.

Kaede sighed. "Miroku says that he saw you begin to glow with holy energy, and then a shockwave hit the area, obliterating all of the demons around you. Presumably it was your miko powers."

Kagome could not fight the bewilderment she was feeling. "It was me...?" She had spent so much time struggling with bows and arrows, and all of a sudden, she was unleashing miko shockwaves?

"I believe so," Kaede confirmed, "You destroyed ever demon in the area, with the exception of Shippo and Kirara. Maybe because they were standing behind you, or your powers simply recognized them as allies." She looked genuinely inquisitive. "What did Naraku say to you to provoke such a reaction?"

Kagome hesitated, a wave of guilt washing over her. "He...he said he would kill Sango and Shippo and everyone, if I didn't give him the Shikon shards." She lowered her head in misery, and focused again on the threads of her sleeping bag.

"My dear, that wasn't your fault." Kaede's wrinkled face creased in sympathy. "You should not take the blame for Naraku's machinations. You know that it was only a puppet version of himself that Naraku sent?"

The young woman raised her head. "It wasn't even him?!" she exclaimed. "You mean he's still out there?" Kaede nodded. Kagome felt her sorrows deepen. It was all for nothing, then. All that struggle, and in the end, it had just been a stupid, fake-o, Punch 'n Judy puppet Naraku.

"Kaede," she said, standing up shakily, "I think I'm going to go for a walk."

Shippo peered up at her. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked enthusiastically. Kagome shook her head, but smiled kindly.

"I just want to be alone for a little while." She walked to the open door, and turned. "If Sango wakes up, come looking for me. I won't be far."

She stepped outside of the hut, blinking at the bright afternoon light. Breathing in the fresh air, she quickly outstripped the boundaries of the town, entering Inuyasha's forest. Making her way to the Goshinboku, Kagome collapsed at the tree's base, releasing the tears she had been holding back.

How could she keep doing this? When Inuyasha had died, she had gone home to her mother for counsel. She could remember her mother's sad eyes, and her strong, sure words.

_"Kagome," she had said. "I know you understand how dangerous Inuyasha's world is. And I would like nothing more than for you to stay here, with your Grandfather and I. But if you truly believe that it's your duty to collect the rest of the jewel shards, then I think that you should continue. I know it may seem futile, since everyone from that time is dead in ours, but I also raised you to help someone who needed help, no matter what the circumstances. If you can help these people, then I think you should..."_

Kagome felt another tear roll down her cheek. She had given up going to university in favour of trying to complete the Shikon no Tama, and when her mother had said those words to her, it was so easy to believe that she could actually do it. But now, after what happened...

They could have all been killed! They almost had been! If they hadn't got lucky...and Kagome knew she wouldn't be able to produce the spiritual equivalent of a nuclear bomb on command every time they ran into trouble.

What was she going to do? It was her fault that the Shikon no Tama was in this time, and that it had been shattered into so many easily-accessible pieces. She knew that her friends had their own issues with Naraku, but he wouldn't be paying them any mind, if it wasn't for their association with her. And Naraku was just too strong for them. The only person stronger was...

Sesshoumaru. The unstoppable Sesshoumaru. If someone could just convince Sesshoumaru that completing the Shikon no Tama was of priority importance, the task would actually be doable. Kagome snorted. The taiyoukai was just about the only person in this time who had no interest in the jewel. He'd be an ideal partner, she reflected. There would be no arguments over the fate of the jewel if it was completed. The more she pondered on the idea, the more she warmed to it.

Could she get Sesshoumaru to work with her? Unlikely. He hated humans, according to Inuyasha. Of course, that couldn't be entirely true -- they had seen that little girl following him around. Kagome pursed her lips, trying to think of the girl's name. Rikku? No that wasn't it... Rin! Her name was Rin! Sesshoumaru seemed to tolerate the girl's presence, and she was loads better than Jakken, who had to be a hundred times smellier and more annoying than a human. Of course, Sesshoumaru didn't really seem to care about Jakken being around, either...he just let Jakken follow him. Like he let Rin follow him.

Sesshoumaru seemed to have a lot of people following him, she realized. Apparently, the young lord's _modus operandi _was to put up with anyone who felt he was awesome enough to follow around all day.

With that thought, Kagome knew she had her in.

* * *

Kagome pulled herself out of the well, dragging her new backpack behind her. Both she and her mother had agreed that it was finally time to retire the old, yellow backpack, in favour of a proper hiking backpack that would distribute weight more evenly. 

As she strolled through Inuyasha's Forest, Kagome prayed she wouldn't meet anyone from the village. After making her decision, she had gone back to Kaede's, loudly announcing that she was going back home for a few days. Then, quietly, she pulled Kaede outside, informing the old woman of her true plan, asking her to keep it a secret for the time being. If Sango and Miroku learned of her intentions to leave, they'd have her on the back of Kirara faster than she could say 'oden.'

Kaede seemed hesitant at first, but agreed, and Kagome had felt a wave of affection wash over her for the woman who had supposedly been her sister, in another life. How many people's stories had Kaede regailed, instead of her own? How many had Kaede watched leave, while she remained in her little hut? Drawing the miko into a hug, Kagome had whispered her goodbyes, and then headed for the Bone Eater's Well.

At home, her mother had been as supportive as ever. Although she had given up wearing her green uniform upon her graduation from high school, they both agreed that if she was going to successfully enlist Sesshoumaru's aid, she was going to have to take this seriously. 'Seriously' apparently meant practical sweaters, durable jeans, and a pair of sturdy hiking boots, along with food that was a little more nutritious than ramen.

Having a new plan had given her new resolve. She was ready. Totally. One hundred percent. This had to work, it just had too! She stepped up to the God Tree.

"Inuyasha," she announced firmly, "I'm leaving now. I'm going to go try to work with Sesshoumaru, to finish completing the jewel." She could just picture his reaction. "Now, don't be angry with me! I need the help, and you aren't here to give it. And don't you want me to avenge your death?" She paused, hearing the unspoken reply. "Don't worry, I won't give Sesshoumaru Tessaiga. I promise."

The flow of words stopped. How do you say goodbye to the dead? She still wasn't sure. What could she say that would mean enough? Was anybody even listening? Silently, she reached out, fingering the prayer beads that still hung at the side of the tree. "I love you, you know," she said, quietly. "I'll be back."

Then, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, Kagome turned away from the Goshinboku, and pointed her feet towards Sesshoumaru.

* * *

**Notes: ** Ok, that took a lot longer than I thought it would. When I first planned this fic, I intended for a lot more humour and a lot less Inuyasha (Or mention of him). However, I don't seem to have much control over what's going on anymore. Apparently some people are still in the grieving process. As I'm sure you can guess, Kagome and Sesshoumaru should be meeting in the next chapter. But the next chapter isn't actually written yet, so I can't make any promises. These people seem to have minds of their own. 

Thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chapter, and/or put me on story alert! I appreciate both of those acts so much, you wouldn't believe it.

Now, a quick note about the song lyrics I have opening each chapter. I know a lot of authors choose song lyrics that reflect the ideas of a chapter. I do things the other way -- I write chapters that reflect the ideas of the song lyrics. With the exception of the very first chapter, pretty much all ideas I have for this fic are being inspired by lyrics I hear in songs. The songs mentioned at the head of each chapter are the inspiration for the chapter below it, so if you feel like downloading said songs and listening to them, you _are_ going to get the feeling I had when writing the chapter, although it's by no means required. The act of reading alone is always appreciated.

-A _wakizashi_ is a type of Japanese sword, shorter than a katana.  
-_Modus operandi _is Latin for "mode of operation." It's used by cops to describe the methods used by criminals. :P  
-The last words of the chapter, about Kagome pointing her feet, were stolen from the book_ Julie of the Wolves_, by Jean Craighead George.


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